The Music of Christmas

This week always seems to catch me by surprise. I mean, I know it’s coming. I’ve been planning for Christmas since July. And yet, here it is with its three service bulletins, special music, last-minute meetings, extra rehearsals, and the like. Yes, it’s a busy time but what a privilege it is to share music in worship! I am thankful for a semi-light work week: only two private lessons, one afternoon of juries instead of two class periods, a short break from children’s choir, and time to practice and prepare for two final choir rehearsals. Yesterday, I realized just how much music I wrote into the services this weekend and it felt a little like “The Twelve Days of Christmas:”

- One organ solo - Two choir anthems - Two ensemble anthems (I get to sing!) - Three pieces of special music to accompany (flute, saxophone, and voice) - Four pieces of service music - Four piano solos - Six hymn harmonizations - Eight Christmas hymns - Ten new organ registrations - __ hours of practicing (do I want to count?)

A few weeks ago, Steve and I attended the Lessons and Carols service at Marsh Chapel at Boston University. Gosh, I love Lessons and Carols. The service was a beautiful reflection of this sacred season and the musical selections were gorgeous (and quite unique – Arvo Pärt, anyone?). Led by an exceptional conductor, Scott Allen Jarrett, the Marsh Chapel Choir was an inspiration. I came home determined to dig up a copy of David Willcocks’ carol arrangements (and what do you know, I found two volumes!) I love adding fresh harmonies to those traditional favorites of the season.

As crazy as the preparations can be are, I love being a part of the rejoicing, the reliving, the retelling of Jesus’ birth. I love hearing the whole story from beginning to end. I love hearing the congregation sing their favorite hymns. I love seeing the Sanctuary grow dark around me and then see the light return as the candles are lit. I love sharing the message of Christmas through song. I love the reminder that God is the Alpha and Omega, the victory in my life, evermore and evermore.

Image Credit: Lauren Chester

Evermore and Evermore

Sometimes, days seem to last forever. Sometimes, things don’t come together like I think they should. Sometimes, I let myself get beaten down by people who criticize what I do. Sometimes, I get lost in the bulletins, the extra rehearsals, the folders of music, and the long staff meetings. Sometimes, I’m not very good at showing grace.

The choir is diligently working on a gorgeous arrangement (Jay Rouse, for all you choir directors out there) of one of my most favorite Christmas hymns – “Of the Father’s Love Begotten” (listen here).  Although we spent rehearsal worrying over notes, struggling with the 6/4 meter, and dealing with quick page turns, I was reminded of the power behind these words and the reason for which we are singing when I re-read the text:

Of the Father’s love begotten,
Ere the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega,
He the source, the ending he;
Of the things that are, that have been,
And that future years shall see,
Evermore and evermore!

Before the world began, He was.  He knows my past, my present, and my future.  He is the source of life.

O ye heights of heaven adore him;
Angel hosts, his praises sing;
Powers, dominions, bow before him,
And extol our God and King;
Let no tongue on earth be silent,
Every voice in concert ring,
Evermore and evermore!

What else can we do but sing His praises?  Let no tongue on earth be silent… let every voice sing out!

Christ, to thee with God the Father,
And, O Holy Ghost, to thee,
Hymns and chant and high thanksgiving,
And unwearied praises be;
Honor, glory, and dominion,
And eternal victory,
Evermore and evermore!

As much as I try to change my expectations . . . people still disappoint me.
As much as I try to be prepared at all times . . . I will never know exactly what the future holds.
As much as I try to hold back . . . I still find myself saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
As much as I try to be professional in what I do . . . people will still find reason to criticize me.

And yet, we are called to let our praises be unwearied amidst our weariness.  To Him be honor, glory, dominion, and eternal victory – victory over the things I say, victory over the actions I take, victory over the people who try to discourage me, victory over me.

What an overwhelming sense of peace this brings to my heart tonight as I write.  Wishing you this type of peace this season.

Image Credit: personal

Thinking of You

Thinking of you this weekend, darling. Good luck with your world premiere of "A Song of Singing" in Delray Beach tomorrow!

Image Credit: Nicholas Garofalo

Christmas Time is Here

With Turkey Day behind us it seems the whole world has turned to Christmas and the upcoming holiday season with gusto. The radio stations are playing solely holiday tunes (though, I admit, I gave up on them after hearing "Dominic the Donkey" today); the church is decked out with trees, wreaths, candles, and bright red bows; and our tiny P.O. box is filled to the brim every day with cheery catalogs. It's a joyous season and yet it's also the busiest month of the year!

Between extra meetings, special bulletins, long choir rehearsals, finals, shopping, wrapping, and traveling, I feel like I'm holding on for dear life some days. It's hard not to get carried away in the hustle and bustle! In moments like these, I try to remind myself to take life one step at a time, to prioritize what's most important, and to keep smiling through it all. Part of that "grace not perfection" mantra is taking time to admire the red and green decorations in the Pharmacy window on my way to work instead of speed-walking down the sidewalk, spending time in the evening addressing Christmas cards (they're black and white and so us!) instead of fretting over the bulletin formatting, taking a Saturday morning to bake Butter Cookies (a family tradition) instead of sending emails, and planning a few days of escape with family instead of sitting at home planning for the Spring.

This season, though busy and full of opportunities to feel overwhelmed, I choose peace. I choose thankfulness. I choose joy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The hustle and bustle of the season is upon us! As much as I love the fall, I love the chillier weather that comes around this time of year. The holidays just wouldn't be the same without cozy hats and gloves, mugs of hot chocolate, and long evenings by the fire.

Thanksgiving is one of my very favorite holidays. I love the festive afternoon meal, the time with family and friends, and the focus on thankfulness. I grew up with many wonderful Thanksgiving Day traditions. We used to start the day by baking sweet potato biscuits, cooking the turkey, reheating casseroles, and making a batch of wild rice soup (Mom's favorite). In between "helping" in the kitchen, we'd watch the Macy's parade while busily unwrapping the silverware for dinner. In the afternoon, we greeted friends and family, watched Dad carve the turkey, and gathered around the table (or two, depending on the number of guests!) At each place, there were three kernels of dried corn and before dinner, we took turns speaking our blessings aloud (one thing for each kernel). It was always a wonderful opportunity to pause -- contemplate what it means to be thankful -- and share three of our many blessings.

This year, I'm exceedingly thankful for sweet friends and family who blessed us with thoughtful cards and gifts and celebrated our wedding day with us, for Steve - the love of my life - and the life God has set before us, and for the gift of grace.

Tomorrow, we'll begin our holiday weekend - we're spending a few days down at Steve's parents' home in CT for a time of feasting, fellowship, and Christmas tree-hunting! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Actions Speak

"Actions speak louder than words." I think we often pause to "think before we speak" (at least we try to) but are we as careful and intentional with our actions? If our actions truly speak louder than words, then what kind of message are we sharing with those we encounter? What kind of impression are we leaving behind?

In this week leading up to Thanksgiving, everyone seems to be talking about counting their blessings, living a grateful life, and ways to give back to the community. The church is in full stewardship swing, the grocery store is doing a food drive for the local food pantry, and Christmas organizations are already asking for donations for those in need (as an aside, does anyone else think Christmas is coming a bit early this year?).

I think it's wonderful that people recognize Thanksgiving as a time to be thankful and reflect on God's abundant faithfulness but aren't these things we should strive for every day of the year? I want to count my blessings multiple times a day. I want to live a grateful life every day of the week. Every time that there is an opportunity, I want to give what I can to help those who are less fortunate. Actions speak louder than words. How will you show your thankfulness this week and in the weeks to come?

Happy birthday, darling

Today is my sweet husband's birthday. Happy birthday, darling! I love each and every opportunity to celebrate you - I admire you so much! I look forward to cooking a delicious steak dinner (or more accurately, watching you cook the steaks while I wrap the potatoes for baking) and sharing the evening with you. I love you!

Image Credit: Nicholas Garofalo

Fully Myself

This week, I let myself become overwhelmed by fear but then I confronted it head-on.

I took few steps backward in reaching one of my professional goals but I made progress in defining my dreams and ways to achieve them. Steps in any direction is progress in my book.

I wasn't always a great listener this week but I tried to give encouragement wherever I could.

I have a few items that have stayed on my to -do list all week but I crossed a few new things off my teuxdeux list each day.

I may have improvised a little in my cooking this week but I managed to cook a wholesome dinner on top of a busy teaching day.

"Be fully yourself." We've all heard it before. During childhood, the words, "Just be yourself," seemed to relate most to integrity, honesty, and self-confidence. In the context of this week, the words take on new meaning. Being "fully myself" means accepting myself, not giving in, taking constructive criticism and learning from the experience, holding on to hope, learning to listen, taking action on the things that I care about, and showing grace to myself and others.

Dream Big

It’s one of those statements that caught me a little off-guard when I first read it: “If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.”  I thought dreams were supposed to be free and simple, floating in a blue sky like white, puffy clouds.  Uninhibited.  Undefined.  The thought of being scared by my dreams surprised me at first.  Who’s scared of a white, puffy cloud? It was cause for thought.  What are my dreams?  How big are they?  How real are they?  Everyone has a “someday” list.  Someday, I’d like to live in a brick townhouse on Park Avenue-esque street.  Will I ever live in a house like this?  Maybe.  Am I actively pursuing it?  No.  As I interrogated myself, I realized this really doesn’t qualify as a dream.  A dream requires goal-setting and small action steps.  White, puffy clouds aside, what are my real dreams and how am I actively pursuing them?

Last year, I dreamt of teaching at the college level.  Fourteen months later, I am in my third semester of adjunct teaching and was recently asked to prepare a new class for the spring.  Exciting, yes.  A great opportunity, yes.  Daunting, yes.  A dream that scares me, yes.  Let’s be honest – I had a mini meltdown just thinking about it this morning.  “When will I have time between now and then to read through three textbooks?  How will I be able to write out all of my lectures, make slides, and come up with assignments on top of my current teaching load?” I lamented.  The answer is simple in hindsight: action steps.

1. Make an outline of the chapters in each textbook. 2. Distribute chapter reading over course of semester (how many chapters on average per week?) 3. Skim each chapter and pull out relevant information. 4. Determine measures for evaluation (quizzes, tests, papers, projects, presentations, etc.) 5. Create measures for evaluation 6. Determine presentation methods (combination of lecture, slides, music listening, student presentations, etc.)

I remember how I felt in the weeks prior to my first day of college teaching (late last summer).  Expecting the unexpected.  Uncertain but confident.

Do your dreams have limits?  Are they bigger than life?  Do they scare you just a little bit?  Dream big – what do we have to lose?

Life Lately

Life lately has included a whirlwind, 24-hour trip to Memphis; an adventurous trip to the new Wegmans; several evening jogs together (a new thing for us); candlelight dinners with our new PB dish towel napkins; a marathon thank-you note writing session (several more to come!); 20% off our registry completion at Macy's; finding out our GPS was stolen out of the car sometime last week; an October blizzard with 22" of snow; an unexpected, 4.5-hr. trip to the ER; and calling in sick to work (I have NEVER done that before!).

Let me backtrack. Monday, I was in teacher-mode. I had my quiz materials ready, I had my book bag packed, I had my lesson materials prepared. Thirty minutes before I would have walked out the door, I saw him sit down in the middle of making lunch. His heart was racing. He was breathing as if he had just come back from a run. He felt too lightheaded to stand. I helped him upstairs to lie down. Thirty minutes later, I called in sick to work and we were on our way to the ER. I kept thinking, "How do I do this? How can I be strong enough for both of us?" Sitting in the waiting room, answering questions from the nurses, trying to calm his nerves, listening to the same news stories on repeat - it was an experience that stretched and challenged me. "You're my hero," he whispered. I just shook my head. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13, I thought to myself. After a few tests (with normal results), they sent us home.

The next few days were long ones.

He, trying to rest and recuperate; me, trying to keep up with teaching, meetings, cooking, phone calls, etc. Sometimes, it feels like I'm on a roller coaster. Sometimes, I think I need that to remind me - life.is.short. Live while you can. Never take anything for granted. Enjoy the little things. Dwell in the moment. As I sat next to that sweet, sleeping man, I prayed that on days like these, I could be strong enough for both of us. "Cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. In the midst of phone calls to the insurance company, doctor's offices, and the hospital, I prayed that I could learn how to care for him - in sickness and in health. I prayed that I could be the shoulder he leans on in times of weakness. Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 55:22. I prayed for a peaceful heart.

Now, at the end of a long, restless week, we're beginning to see signs of improvement. He got a good report at the doctor's office today and he even had a glass of wine waiting for me when I got home from choir tonight! I, for one am exceedingly thankful.