Making Things Happen in 2013 - Part II

"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Y'all, thank you for sharing such encouraging responses to my last post! I have been so inspired by this goal-setting process this week - I can't wait to apply these steps to aspects of my professional work.

I left off last time with my progress up through Step 5. Step 6 is writing out a vision for 2013, reflecting on where you see yourself in 50 years and what you consider to be your personal mission statement. Here's my vision for 2013:

Content, grateful, and present. Gracious. Saying "yes" to things that matter and basing my priorities and decisions on that. Doing more of what fires me up! Giving freely. Making love an action word. Speaking with intention. Working with passion and living a life of gratitude, love, and grace.

This was the most reflective step for me. These questions really make you stop, think, and evaluate your life in a whole new way. What is important in the long run? What kind of person do you want to be? I found I really had to quiet myself for this part of the process. What a wonderful way to prepare your heart and mind for the New Year! Steps 7 and 8 are designed to keep you accountable for living your vision this year: Make a list of things you are saying NO to this year (because they detract from your vision or keep you from being the person you want to be) and make a list of things you are saying YES to this year (because they support your vision).

This year, I am saying NO to: 1. Social media distraction 2. Selfishness in relationships 3. Greed - holding onto things we don't need, buying things we don't need 4. Worry and fear of the future 5. Not being a good listener 6. Working without passion 7. Negative influences 8. Complaining 9. Making excuses to myself 10. Judging others 11. Multi-tasking, not being fully present or focused 12. My iPhone during time with SD 13. Selfish rewards 14. Trying to live up to others' expectations 15. Carrying emotional baggage 16. Having unfair expectations of others 17. Comparison - trying to be too much like others 18. Not taking/making time to rest and be inspired 19. Talking negatively about others 20. Laziness in work, marriage, and personal life

This year, I am saying YES to: 1. More impromptu date nights with SD 2. More prayer 3. An established exercise routine 4. Giving time in service to others 5. Being grateful and counting our blessings 6. Simplifying our life 7. Giving away things we don't use or need 8. Building relationships 9. Getting up on time 10. Making healthy food choices 11. More focused, productive working hours 12. Fewer distractions when I'm home with SD 13. Becoming a better musician 14. Taking time to rest and be inspired during the week 15. More study of the Word 16. Being honest and authentic in what I do 17. Inspiring influences 18. Reading for pleasure 19. Encouraging others 20. Resting in the security of grace 21. Solitude 22. Walks 23. A balanced day 24. Living freely and giving freely 25. Letting go

Everything seemed amazingly clear to me after I made these lists - I even refined my vision statement. Have you ever taken the time to vocalize or write out the things that you want less of in your life? It's freeing, friends. Do what matters and forget the rest. I'm going to post these lists above my desk so that I can be reminded of them every day.

Step 9? Review Steps 1-8. Refine things, add to or change things on your lists, get feedback from someone close to you. Make a note of any key ideas/goals that emerge as you do this.

The final step is writing out purposeful, accessible goals. Yes! I love what Lara said about this part of the process: "The idea here is for you to SIMPLIFY your life, not to give yourself a new to-do list of random things that sound good. Be very specific and careful about what you decide to spend your time on this year." Use the following as a checklist:

1. Will this goal help my 2013 Vision? 2. Does this goal also help other people? 3. WHY would I spend my time on this goal? Write out your answer next to your goal.

I love this. I'll be sharing my progress on this last step and my list of goals for 2013 with you later this week!

Love, Ashley

// Making Things Happen in 2013 - Part I

Making Things Happen in 2013

Happy New Year, friends! As I write this, I'm 38,000 feet in the air in Delta seat 42A headed to Utah for a Danyew family ski trip (my first!). We've had a wonderful holiday adventure so far, including three Christmases, three states, and a harrowing six-hour trip (that should have taken two) in the midst of Winter Storm Euclid. You could say that we're making the most of the holidays/Winter Break. In between all the traveling, skiing, and butter cookie-eating, I've been reflecting on 2012 and setting goals for 2013.

Don't you just love this time of the year? I do. Everything feels fresh and new with the calendar change and though I'm not one for making resolutions, planning thoughtful, meaningful goals and setting up ways to achieve them fires me up to live the life I want to live and do my work with passion.

Raise your hand if you've jotted down a short list of goals at the last possible moment on New Year's Eve (in order to make the magical January 1st deadline). Raises hand. When you look back, how many of those goals did you accomplish? How many moved you forward? No more! I want to set authentic, purposeful goals that I can actually attain.

This week, inspired by Lara Casey's Goal-Setting Steps, I've been doing just that. Guys, the process is so important to setting real, attainable goals. Think about this past year. What did you make happen? What worked well? What didn't work? I spent an afternoon last week pondering these questions and writing out my answers. Beginning with the positive, Step 1 is making a list of things you're grateful for and things that worked well in 2012. Here's what my "worked well" list looks like:

WCMW // the organization and planning, the community support, the quality of the music, and the overall experience PhD at Eastman // I love the work I am doing, the things I am learning, the opportunities and experiences, and the people I work with Living in Rochester // city + country + lakes + beach + mountains, culture, dining, separation of home/work, people our age Setting boundaries // more productive during working hours and able to enjoy time away from work Making decisions // better at getting through emails, taking risks, being confident in my abilities, taking an active role instead of a passive one, and making things happen New website/brand // represents me as an artist, a teacher, a writer, and an entrepreneur; better way of staying in touch with professional network Musical growth // recitals, musicianship, learning new things, surrounding myself with other musicians Giving // helping those in need, living with less, compassion, living "Love Does" Grace // living it in action (calm, patient, peaceful, joyful) Traditions // making new traditions with SD while honoring the old, living in the present and focusing more on what matters Healthier choices // exercising more, eating less meat and no milk, buying local, drinking more water Reading for pleasure // read three books since summer; inspiring, motivating, refreshing

Basically, this comes down to three points (skipping ahead to Step 4): 1. Never stop learning. Be honest and authentic in what you do. 2. Continue striving for musical excellence. Share this with others. 3. Work to live. Set boundaries, know your priorities, and focus on what matters.

Likewise, there were several things that didn't work well last year. This is Step 2. These are learning opportunities for the year to come:

Taking work personally // investing too much of myself into work Worry // about what others think, about finances, about the future, about relationships Lack of boundaries // separating work and personal life at home Lack of inspiration // teaching full-time without being refueled, without rest, and without being inspired Selfish intentions // in decision-making, in marriage, in giving, in relationships Taking things for granted // thinking that newlywed life should be bliss, not focusing on what matters Wrong priorities // paying too much attention to things that don't matter

Again, three basic points (Step 5): 1. Invest yourself in your priorities. Give with intention. 2. Do more of what fires you up. Be inspired. Take time to rest and be filled. 3. Give thanks and be grateful every day.

Step 3 is making a list of what inspires you, invigorates you, and fires you up. Make a Pinterest board for inspiration and to keep yourself on track this year - see mine here (in progress!). Y'all, this was eye-opening for me. There it is, in black and white, exactly where I am today, how far I came in the last year, and the things that inspire me most. Amazing! Now I can begin thinking ahead with purpose (Step 6). Where do I see myself in 50 years? Why do I do what I do? What is my vision? I spent a little time during the flight reflecting on these questions and sketching out my initial responses. More to come as I continue the refining process. In the meantime, please feel free to share your goals for 2013 (if you have them already) and/or your reflection on what went well/not so well this past year in the comments below. Looking forward to sharing more of my goal-setting process with you in the days to come!

Love, Ashley

2012: A Year in Review

Happy Holidays, friends! I hope this finds you off celebrating with leftover Christmas cookies, mugs of hot chocolate by the fire, and good conversations with family and friends. For me, New Year's Eve is a time to not only look forward into what the New Year holds but to reflect on all the memories of the current year. Here are a few of my favorite moments: Image credit: personal

I applied to two doctoral programs in December of 2011 and at the end of January, we took a trip to Rochester for doctoral interviews (five in all). It was a whirlwind 48-hour trip!

I started teaching a new-to-me class at Fitchburg State in January - Commonwealth of the Arts. I continued teaching two sections of Class Piano, which brought my total number of students to over 45. What an honor!

Image credit: personal

Steve and I presented our first-ever Children's Concert in February to children ages 2-5. Originally, we were told to expect 8-10 children. About a week before the program, we found out that 35 were signed up to attend! The morning of the event, however, 56 children plus parents and teachers crowded in to find a seat. It was a great experience and "Saxophone Steve" was a bit hit! Read our recap post here.

Image credit: personal

We presented an informal lecture recital for the community in March called "The Art of the Spiritual." See video excerpts of this program here, here, and here.

Image credit: personal

We planned a quick 36-hour getaway to Maine at the end of March - shopping and dining in Portland, cliff walks along the ocean's edge, and visiting Stonewall Kitchen. Also, the President and Snoop Dogg were there. No big deal.

Image credit: Eastman School of Music

I got accepted into Eastman's PhD program in March and signed the final papers in April to enroll in the fall. I was over the moon with excitement!

Dr. Susan Conkling leading the WCMW Community Sing in May 2012. Image credit: personal

Our second year of the Westminster Chamber Music Workshop was a great success! We organized four larger concerts, one each Saturday night in May. See video clips here, here, here, and here.

Lake Junaluska, NC. Image credit: personal

We spent two weeks on the road in June - apartment hunting in Rochester, a visit with my parents in GA, and a week at Music and Worship Arts Week at Lake Junaluska, NC (read more here). Also, eating as much southern barbeque as possible.

We spent July teaching and packing for our big move - July 29! Thanks to the help of some very able-bodied friends, everything went very smoothly. Naturally, we spent August unpacking and establishing NYS residency. Steve picked back up with work and I began studying for placement exams: counterpoint and Renaissance music history.

The beach at Lake Ontario. Image credit: personal

We took the opportunity over Labor Day weekend to explore the Finger Lakes - wineries one day, beach the next!

Image credit: personal

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary in October with a day trip to Letchworth State Park. It was gorgeous!

We spent Thanksgiving in CT with Steve's parents and friends of the family and came back to the first snow dusting of the season. It was magical.

Image credit: personal

We prepared for Choral Sunday at church on December 9 - Vivaldi's Gloria and three Advent hymn arrangements by SD and got our first Christmas tree. Then, on December 14 tragedy struck at Sandy Hook Elementary School, devastating the quaint community, Steve's hometown. Our hearts just broke at the magnitude of this loss and for all the families who were affected. We sent heart-shaped messages of love and support as part of Hearts of Hope. Join the project here.

I finished the first semester of my doctoral program on 12/21, just in time to celebrate with SD and pack for our big holiday adventure - five states in two weeks!

So here it is - the last day of 2012. This year gave me new teaching opportunities and professional experiences and time to visit new places. I got accepted into Eastman's PhD program, SD and I made the move back to Rochester, and we celebrated our first of hopefully many sweet anniversaries. God is good and we are blessed. Here's to 2013!

Happy New Year, y’all!

Previously: 2011: A Year in Review

Our Christmas Card - 2012

 

Merry Christmas, friends!  Wishing you all a wonderful holiday with friends and loved ones and a healthy, happy 2013!

P.S.  See our 2011 Christmas card here.

Image Credit: personal Design Inspiration: Amanda Jane Jones

Happiest of Holidays

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a joyful New Year!

Dona Nobis Pacem

Friday morning, I picked out a cute outfit and fixed my hair, hoping to take a picture with SD in front of this tree in Eastman's Main Hall at the annual Holiday Sing.  It's my favorite Eastman tradition and SD and I have been looking forward to it ever since we knew we'd be moving back here this year.  I cleaned off my desk and admired our little Christmas tree.  I printed a few handouts for my class presentation later in the day.  I thought about giving myself a manicure over the weekend.

And then, I heard SD exclaim from the other room - "What?!"  I rushed in to see what was wrong.

"There was a shooting at my elementary school," he said.

We watched in horror as the news reports rolled in and pictures of 1st graders being led to the nearby fire station flashed across the homepage of CNN, just one mile away from Steve's parents' house.  "We were just there at Thanksgiving," I thought to myself.  We were numb.

The closing song of the Holiday Sing, "Dona Nobis Pacem," sung in a 3-part round by all who are in attendance is normally our favorite part of the event.  Now, standing in front of this beautiful tree, surrounded by the hundreds of people that had gathered in the Main Hall that morning, we contemplated the entirely new meaning of this text in the midst of such tragedy and heartache.  I fought back tears as we sang:

Dona nobis pacem.  Grant us peace.

Later in the day, we found out that most of the victims were children - twenty 6- and 7-year-olds - and my heart broke into a million pieces.  Those families, those teachers, that community.  Sandy Hook is an idyllic New England town and it's become somewhat of a home to me in the 4 1/2 years since SD and I started dating.  That fire station they keep showing on the news?  They have a lobsterfest in the summer and they sell Christmas trees and wreaths between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We pass it every time we come into town.  Treadwell Park is where SD and I had a picnic lunch on my first visit to CT.  That elementary school is where SD was assigned Georgia in the "parade of states" (it's the reason we danced to "Georgia On My Mind" at our wedding).  He made a giant peach and wheeled it around in a little red wagon.  It's where he first learned to play the saxophone.  That auditorium where the vigil was held and where the President spoke?  That's the stage where SD performed, soloed, and graduated.  This is home.

There is no explanation for the events of last week.  There are no answers.  What can we do?  We can pray, we can grieve with the rest of the nation, we can hold on to those close to us.  We can live grateful lives.  We can give to those in need (see here, here, here, and here for a place to start).  Life is not the same.

How do we move on from such a tragedy?  Leonard Bernstein once said, "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before."  Yes.  As musicians, making music and sharing it with the community is a way that we can give back, a way to contribute meaning.  This is the time of year that we sing hymns of faith and hope and peace; we sing of Joy coming into the world and we prepare our hearts anew for the coming of the Prince of Peace.  So sing with passion, play with your whole heart, and lead with conviction.  Focus on what matters.  And in the midst of this overwhelming tragedy, may God grant us all peace.

Image Credit: personal

Three Hymn Arrangements for Advent

Last Sunday was Choral Sunday at church, complete with a performance of Vivaldi's "Gloria," Handel's Organ Concerto as prelude and postlude, and three Advent hymns that SD orchestrated for the occasion. It's so much fun to sing hymns with a chamber orchestra, don't you think? 

Seeing as how Advent isn't quite over yet, I thought it might be nice to let y'all know about these arrangements in case you're looking for a little something extra for your upcoming services.

Three Hymn Arrangements for Advent

1. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel (listen here)
2. Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus (tune: Hyfrydol) (listen here)
3. Lo, He Comes with Clouds Descending (listen here)

These arrangements are for organ, strings, trumpet, and oboe (though instrumentation is flexible) and may be purchased individually.  Read more and take a look at the scores here.

Image Credit: personal

On Teaching

Last week, I found out that one of my former students in Massachusetts passed away suddenly.  Ironically (or perhaps not), I thought about Ed Sunday night and told Steve, "I should write him a note this week and see how he's doing."  Later, I found out that he died the next day.  Life is short, friends; too short to leave things unsaid, to worry about what others will think, to value things that don't matter.  Act now.  Love now.  Give now.  Focus on what matters. Ed was 73 years old when he began taking piano lessons from me in the summer of 2010.  I'll never forget that first week - he came in with a stack of big note, EZ-read piano books, a mini audio recorder, and an enormous amount of self determination.  We started at the beginning: landmark notes (Frances Clark method), folk songs, rote songs, and technic exercises.  Within the first year, he was sightreading simple songs, harmonizing folk melodies, and playing teacher-student duets in the studio's spring recital.  He was dedicated.

In our second year of study, he began learning key signatures and counting in unusual meters.  He performed solo in the studio recital earlier this year.  Our last lesson before I moved was at the end of July.  In those final weeks, Ed began asking questions about chords, harmonic progressions, and inversions.  He was curious and he truly loved learning.

Every week when he came into his lesson I would ask, "How are you doing today?"  His response always caught me off guard: "Oh, I'm much better, thank you."  "What do you mean 'much better'?"  I'd say.  "Were you sick?"  "No, I'm fine.  It's just that people always pay attention when you say 'I'm doing much better,'" he'd say with a grin.  I smile when I think of him looking down now, saying, "I'm doing much better, thank you."

What a privilege we have in teaching.

Teaching to me is not just about music or experiences.  It's about people - people like Ed who want to build on a lifelong love of music, people like Bobby who love to create, and people like Matthew who love to explore and build with musical patterns.  What an opportunity we have as teachers to engage with others, interact, and share musical experiences.  I am so grateful.

Happy birthday, darling

Happy birthday to this handsome fella today!  I so admire your patient and kind heart.  I am more and more grateful for you every day!  Thank you for being my husband and my best friend.  I love you!

Love, Speak, Give

The phrase, "Love, speak, give with intention" appears on my lock screen as a constant reminder to be more intentional about life.  It reminds me to do small deeds with great love, choose words carefully and intentionally, and give with joy.  This month, I've been intentional about gratitude and really acknowledging the good gifts we have been given.  As we celebrate Thanksgiving and families and football and turkey and cranberry sauce this weekend, I hope you sit a little longer, hug a little tighter, speak with intention, and give to others as much as you are able.  "Now thank we all our God with hearts and hands and voices..."

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!