Immortal Love, Forever Full

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Well, it’s been quite a week. 

From productive meetings and back-to-back private students, two great choir rehearsals, and my first full day at Fitchburg State, “stomping out fires” and a massive amount of email, it’s been exciting and a little overwhelming at times. 

I am amazed at all of the music and teaching opportunities that are in front of me this semester but there are times when I feel incapable. “How can I keep up with all of this?” I ask myself. Perhaps I need to read this post again?

Yesterday, I took a few minutes to review a few pieces before choir rehearsal.  I turned to one of our new pieces (my favorite anthem in the folders right now)—“Immortal Love, Forever Full” (arr. Kreider—listen here). 

I was the only one in the Sanctuary and the church was quiet. . .it was so peaceful. I relished the moment of solitude. It became a moment of worship for me, playing there in the middle of the afternoon. I read the words and let the meaning sink in. A sense of calmness washed over me—just what my soul needed. “Forever shared, forever whole, a never ebbing sea!”

–

Immortal love, forever full, 
forever flowing free,
forever shared, forever whole, 
a never ebbing sea!

Our outward lips confess the name
all other names above;
love only knoweth whence it came, 
and comprehendeth love.

We may not climb the heavenly steeps
to bring the Lord Christ down;
in vain we search the lowest deeps,
for Him no depths can drown.

But warm, sweet, tender, even yet,
a present help is He; 
and faith still has its Olivet,
and love its Calvary.

The healing of His seamless dress
is by our beds of pain;
we touch Him in life’s throng and press,
and we are whole again.

The letter fails, the systems fall,
and every symbol wanes;
the Spirit over brooding all, 
eternal Love remains.

- John Greenleaf Whittier, 1856

Ready or Not

Today is my first day back to school. It’s been a mad dash to the finish line but lesson plans in hand, I’m as ready as I think I could ever be.

As most of you know by now, I’m teaching a new class this semester.

It’s exhilarating and completely intimidating all at the same time. The thought of walking into a room with 34 pairs of eyes on me is enough to send me running in the other direction. But, I spent the last three weeks practicing excellence and preparing to teach, to demonstrate, to guide, to share what I know and what I’ve learned.

Yes, I wrote this entire course in three weeks.

Some may have sketched out the first few class periods and left the rest to office hours and Friday afternoons. I wanted to see the whole semester. And by “whole semester,” I mean:

• 4 textbooks spanning almost 500 years

• 78 pages of notes

• a 4-page outline for the first class

• 52 pieces of media (30 recordings, 22 YouTube videos)

• 77 slides of images

• 2 paper assignments

• a 5-page syllabus

• 7 group project assignments

• 10 essay topics

• 14 research paper topics

• 15 quizzes

I wanted to walk in on the first day with the big picture in mind. I want to teach every day with a goal, a purpose, an objective. This is where we’re going to start and this is where we’re going.

Ready or not, let’s do this.

Excellence

Last week, I set some pretty big goals for 2012. 

They may be ambitious, but I’d rather set new lifestyle goals – habits to build into my everyday life and work – than set temporary points of achievement that can simply be crossed off my list (i.e. finish reading the book on my nightstand).  Excellence is one of those lifestyle goals.

It’s one of those things that people talk about in an idealistic, undefinable sort of way.  Sometimes, it is equated with perfection; other times, it is described as a blissful moment of achievement and arrival. 

While in music school, excellence was constantly at the forefront of my mind.  It was the expectation of my studio teachers.  It was the ideal quality of every performance.  It was the satisfaction of progress and success. 

But still, I struggled to define it.  After years of chasing the idealistic, undefinable form of excellence, I wanted more.

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Aristotle 

As a lifestyle, I want to re-commit to excellence every day.  I want to practice excellence in the dish-washing, piano-teaching, laundry-folding, house-cleaning, course-writing, bulletin-proofing moments of life.  In pursuing this goal in my own life, these things stand true:

• Excellence is a standard I set for myself, not based on others.

• It’s the pursuit of high, artistic quality and the commitment to be the best I can be.

• It is a commitment to invest myself fully in whatever I am doing (one.thing.at.a.time).

• Along with that, it’s the simplification of what I do.  It requires me to re-focus my priorities and choose to do better at less rather than be mediocre at more (and live a life of grace).

• It is the challenge of artistry.

• Excellence is my measure of success.

I have a story about this.

Several years ago, I spent 7 months taking piano lessons from Louise Barfield. 

I was finishing my bachelor’s degree at the time and preparing for grad school auditions.  After that first 2-hour lesson on a hot, summer afternoon and not making it past my scales, I knew I had my work cut out for me.  Mediocrity and middle-of-the-road standards were not going to fly.  Truth be told, I didn’t think I could be anything more. 

One day, Louise said, “You can be as great as you want to be.  You just have to set your mind to it.”  I confess now that I didn’t wholeheartedly believe her.  Everyone can’t just go out there and be exactly what they want to be. . .or can they? 

Together, we set ambitious goals. 

I practiced more than I had in my life.  I drove two hours each way – twice a week – for 2-hour lessons.  I set my sights on getting into Eastman‘s Accompanying Program.  In February of 2008, I flew up to Rochester, NY, took an audition with the head of the department, and in a dream-come-true whirlwind was offered acceptance a few short weeks later.

Some may say that excellence is an arrival point – that Friday night phone call from the Director of Admissions – but for me, excellence is the journey – the months of dedicated, passionate work; the frustration, the tears, and the joy; the responsibility to myself to truly be the best I could be – that is the pursuit of excellence.  I didn’t know this at the time but Louise did. 

Never before had someone had such faith in me and the determination to make me recognize my own potential.

Excellence is the journey.

Go for it

Here I sit, surrounded by textbooks, paper rubrics, reading lists, and a 52-page teaching guide that I’ve compiled over the past several weeks. Can you tell I’m in the final week of writing a new course to teach this semester? It’s been a bit overwhelming at times. But, last week was very productive and I feel good about that. My class was assigned to a classroom in another building on campus – across the quad from the Fine Arts Building where I have been teaching (and will still be teaching this semester) and where my office is located. I’ve let myself get bogged down with worry: How do I get there? What does the classroom look like? What kind of technology will I be able to access? Will I be able to get in there with enough time to get everything set up before class? In addition, I’d love to have a piano in the classroom to use as a teaching aid and I knew that would only happen in the Fine Arts Building. Can you imagine? Talking about Copland’s “American” style and actually being able to play open fifths and octaves to demonstrate that signature sound. Then, I got an idea.

Why don’t I just ask to move to another classroom?

It couldn’t hurt to try. Go for it, I told myself. One email, one simple question. Within two days, my class had been successfully re-booked in a classroom with a piano in the building where I’ve been teaching (just one floor down from my office, in fact!). What a relief. . .and what a valuable lesson.

Why let yourself be consumed with worry or depressed by the dreams of “if only”? Go for it. Make the change. Ask the question. Run the risk. Take that leap. Make it happen.

The First Friday

It's 10 a.m. Friday morning.

It's the end of the first week of 2012 and the first Friday since setting these personal boundaries.  It's a great feeling.  I have several projects to tackle today but I feel refreshed and empowered to make decisions and get things done.

In fact, I felt so much better after setting boundaries for myself this week that I took things one step further - no email after dinner. 

It's just so easy to reach for my phone. . .just to see if there's anything there.  I very rarely respond to emails in the evening — I find I have much more clarity for formulating responses in the morning — so really I'm just taking on an extra burden before climbing into bed.  Who needs that?! 

I've had two successful nights of not checking my inboxes and I have to tell y'all, I haven't missed it!  It frees up my evenings for conversations, writing, and organizing my thoughts.  And, when I check my accounts in the morning, I feel ready to make those decisions (after all, each email is a decision waiting to be made, is it not?)

Here's to a quiet, productive Friday (2012, I love you already).

P.S.  I wish it looked like this outside today!  Still waiting for snow...

Setting Boundaries

This time last year, I started using TeuxDeux to keep track of my everyday and long-term to-dos. Though I really only use it when I'm at my computer, it helps me keep track of bill payments, emails, and those more involved to-dos that I don't want to include in my daily lists. For day-to-day, week-to-week, and month-to-month planning, however, I hold on to the traditional pen and paper method. I need an agenda that lets me see the whole week at a time, that includes space in the margins for notes and reminders, and that's small enough for me to carry around on a daily basis. For all of these reasons and more I am loving my new Moleskine!

The vertical layout shows a week at a time with monthly views up front for reference. I like that it includes the hours for each day so I can easily keep track of lessons, classes, and meeting schedules. I spent part of yesterday filling in a few recurring things in preparation for the scheduling that will take place over the course of the next few weeks. Choir starts back this week, my Westminster studio starts back next week, classes at the college start the following week, and my Fitchburg studio begins the first week in February.

This semester, I have decided to set more personal boundaries on my time. I will be adhering to my work-from-home Friday rule and I am setting more boundaries for my teaching schedule in both studios. I have classes at the college on Mondays and Wednesdays this semester so my availability for my Fitchburg students will be limited to those days. Thursdays are choir days and I've found it's simply too hectic to shift gears to private lessons in the middle of the afternoon. This limits my Westminster studio availability to Tuesdays (a matter of rescheduling for three students). This schedule feels balanced and manageable when I have boundaries in place. However, it puts me in a difficult position. When I limit my availability, I run the risk of losing students.

For the past year, I've kept Monday evening students despite spending the entire day teaching at the college. I drive home, drop my things, change my clothes, and run back out to teach. I confess that I'm not the best teacher I can be on Mondays at 6 p.m. I never feel 100% up to it. I complain on the way out the door and I check my iPhone every 7 minutes to see how much more time is left in the lesson. It's not that I don't enjoy my Monday student(s) it's that I'm exhausted. I've been out teaching all day, I have quizzes to grade, and my mind is a million other places. Who does that benefit? No one. Why did I do this to myself on a weekly basis last year? Because I thought setting personal boundaries would affect enrollment. It might. But walking into a lesson with anything less than 100% readiness and attentiveness is not the right approach. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to my students.

This year, I want to make more decisions. It begins with balancing my work schedule, setting goals, and sticking to my personal boundaries.

Welcome, 2012

Happy New Year and welcome, 2012!

We celebrated the final week of 2011 with four Christmases in three states! Today, however, we are back home and back at work.

Though much of my work revolves around the academic year (September-June), there's something about the new calendar year that inspires me to set new goals, re-organize, and re-balance my priorities. It's a time to re-focus on the things that matter and start fresh. I came across a graphic recently that reminded me about the important things that don't generally make my resolution list:

Keep the faith.

Think positively even when surrounded by negativity, stay strong even in the midst of frustration and weakness, find new ways to actively build my faith throughout the year, commit to worry less. Professionally and personally, these are words I want to live by this year.

Pursue excellence.

True excellence - a standard of passionate and dedicated work, a new definition of success (more on this later).

Make more decisions.

Powerful, effective decisions. Changing the pattern of indecisiveness, learning to make decisions without seeking outside input, and collaborating with others without deferring.

The other day, I re-encountered this quote: "Indecision is the seedling of fear." - Napolean Hill.

I want 2012 to be a year of learning how to make more decisions, a year of overcoming fear, and a year of making excellent things happen.

2011: A Year in Review

I'm starting a new tradition: a newsy recap post highlighting the biggest and best moments of the past year. I thought 2010 would be tough to beat: final semester of grad school with papers and projects galore, Eastman graduation, interviewing and getting a new job, relocating to a new state, experiencing my first semester as an adjunct professor at a college, and getting engaged to the handsome SD.

Well, what do you know - 2011 turned out to be quite the year, as well! Here's what I've been up to:

We set a wedding date and jumped head-on into all the planning! We wrote up a budget, booked venues, booked a caterer, sent out save-the-dates, made lots of lists, and began all of the DIY projects (yes, SD and I did all of the planning and projects together). Read through more of my wedding planning posts here.

We visited our reception venue for the first time during a short holiday weekend getaway in February. It was so perfect for us!

We jetted off to Florida to visit my "second parents" for spring break in March and enjoyed an evening of choir rehearsals, a surprise trip to Animal Kingdom, an art show, and sharing in worship on Sunday.

I may or may not have put off dress shopping until March, but I found "the one" by mid-April.

Steve and I put together a 45-minute collaborative lecture recital called "The Art of Song" in April. We had a very enthusiastic audience that loved the opportunity to participate in our creative process! See video clips here, here, and here.

I took a train trip to Philadelphia in early June to accompany the youth choir from my church in Athens, GA. They were on a week-long tour and I joined them for a few days of concerts and sightseeing in the city. I picked up a southern accent while I was with them - SD barely recognized me on the phone!

Steve and I co-founded and co-directed the first-ever Westminster Chamber Music Workshop at the end of June with great success. Grant-writing, press releases, video blogs, email marketing, program book materials, and organizing a chamber choir and six community events in six days = lots of work + lots of fun. Read more here.

The day after the Workshop ended, we took a summer road trip to Rochester, NY. I reconnected with professors, got my favorite cookie from the cafe down the street, and soaked up the Gibbs Street atmosphere while Steve had a day of meetings. We got our fill of Wegmans, made a quick trip to the farmer's market, and even had time for a picnic at the Canal.

We took several short weekend trips to visit Steve's parents in Connecticut, including a trip at the end of July for a beautiful bridal shower hosted by Steve's mom and neighbor. A southern-themed garden party, they had everything from white hydrangeas on the tables to homemade cheese straws to pecan pie for dessert. The following week, we took a trip to see my family down in Georgia where some friends threw us a fun, black-and-white couples shower.

Classes and lessons started back in September and I stayed busy on the weekends with a few quick trips to Connecticut for final dress fittings, a day trip to Vermont for final wedding preparations, a faculty recital at school, two more wedding showers, and a trip to Rochester for a premiere of one of Steve's new works.

Image Credit: Studio 56 Photography

On the warm and sunny October 8, 2011, we said our "I dos" in a beautiful, historic Meeting House in southern Vermont complete with a string trio, a brand new piece arranged for the occasion by SD, and a handsome wedding party decked out in black dresses and tuxes with bow ties.

After the wedding, we enjoyed a week-long honeymoon exploring the streets of Portland, ME.

We'd only been newlyweds for two weeks when we hopped a plane to Memphis for a whirlwind 24-hour trip for my brother's wedding. It was funny to hear everyone refer to me as "Mrs. Danyew" - still getting used to my new name!

We thought November would settle down a bit but with teaching, choir rehearsals, a day trip to NYC, and a few days in CT for Thanksgiving, the time flew by. We celebrated our birthdays together by joining the "cool people club" and upgrading our Blackberries to iPhone 4s. Best. Decision. Ever. Also, we decided to take up jogging (training for ski season!)

December is always a busy time for church musicians but this year, I juggled the children's Christmas play, a choir cantata, two Christmas Eve services, a special chamber ensemble, and a Christmas Day service all in the span of two weeks! Happy for a week to unwind before the New Year, Steve and I spent a few days in CT before heading up to VT for celebrations with Steve's extended family.

Which brings us to today, the last day of 2011. It was a year for new things: new teaching opportunities, new music, traveling to new places, a new name... it's a busy and exciting time for us and I am greatly looking forward to all that 2012 holds!

Happy New Year, y'all!

The Music of Christmas

This week always seems to catch me by surprise. I mean, I know it’s coming. I’ve been planning for Christmas since July. And yet, here it is with its three service bulletins, special music, last-minute meetings, extra rehearsals, and the like. Yes, it’s a busy time but what a privilege it is to share music in worship! I am thankful for a semi-light work week: only two private lessons, one afternoon of juries instead of two class periods, a short break from children’s choir, and time to practice and prepare for two final choir rehearsals. Yesterday, I realized just how much music I wrote into the services this weekend and it felt a little like “The Twelve Days of Christmas:”

- One organ solo - Two choir anthems - Two ensemble anthems (I get to sing!) - Three pieces of special music to accompany (flute, saxophone, and voice) - Four pieces of service music - Four piano solos - Six hymn harmonizations - Eight Christmas hymns - Ten new organ registrations - __ hours of practicing (do I want to count?)

A few weeks ago, Steve and I attended the Lessons and Carols service at Marsh Chapel at Boston University. Gosh, I love Lessons and Carols. The service was a beautiful reflection of this sacred season and the musical selections were gorgeous (and quite unique – Arvo Pärt, anyone?). Led by an exceptional conductor, Scott Allen Jarrett, the Marsh Chapel Choir was an inspiration. I came home determined to dig up a copy of David Willcocks’ carol arrangements (and what do you know, I found two volumes!) I love adding fresh harmonies to those traditional favorites of the season.

As crazy as the preparations can be are, I love being a part of the rejoicing, the reliving, the retelling of Jesus’ birth. I love hearing the whole story from beginning to end. I love hearing the congregation sing their favorite hymns. I love seeing the Sanctuary grow dark around me and then see the light return as the candles are lit. I love sharing the message of Christmas through song. I love the reminder that God is the Alpha and Omega, the victory in my life, evermore and evermore.

Image Credit: Lauren Chester

Ode to the Choir

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the choir, Reminders to smile, breathe deeper, think higher. Their music was filed and robes hung with care, In hopes that the New Year would soon be there.

The altos were nestled all snug in their pew, Waiting for Steve to give them their cue. The row full of basses, there in the back, Had just settled down for a long sermon nap.

When out in the Narthex there arose such a clatter They sprang from their seats to see what was the matter. Away down the aisle, they flew in a flash, Peering out windows and then with a crash–

They turned on their feet and looked up at the loft, As light filled the room and voices grew soft. When what to their wondering ears should they hear, But strains of “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear.”

The band of bright seraphim amidst brilliant light, The choir members gazed at the beautiful sight. With rich, joyful voices, e’en closer they came, Until they heard them call out by name:

“Come, Gretchen and Carolyn, Doug, Steve, and Anne, Come, Bobbie and Gloria, Don, Dale, and Pam! Come, Ellen and Pat, Dave, Bart, and Peg, Come, Diane and Dick, Ed and Gregg!

To the top of the mountain, and down by the lake, Sing with a smile, for goodness sake! For this is the Message and to this we are called, Now, sing noel, sing noel, sing noel, all!”

Their eyes–how they twinkled! Their dimples, how merry! Their cheeks were like roses, their robes, red as cherries! Their mouth shapes so round, their vowels, so pure, As they sang from their hearts, sweet music, for sure.

The choir, they hustled to join the bright band, And the singing continued at the wave of Steve’s hand. For there in that moment, the choir stood singing, With the angel band’s voices in unison ringing.

They remember with fondness, that white, snowy day, When the bright angel band a visit did pay. Now singing in worship, their voices of light: “Happy Christmas to all on this silent night!”

Ashley Danyew Copyright 2011 Based on "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement C. Moore